Believe Body Language and Tone of Voice, Not Words

The best way to lose friends is to avoid telling how you really feel about life, love, religion, and politics. People protect themselves by hinting at their feelings to size people up.

In chatting with neighbors since 2016, I have been hearing between the lines. Though they avoid talking about politics and religion like their pastors have warned them effectively, there are the easy tell-tale signs in tone of voice and body language that they are either troubled or happy if Trump wins.

Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash

Here are the top 2 places where you can literally “see” the silence and “hear” the speaker’s body language. The bad language has been omitted. I omitted beauty salons and bars to keep it brief.

First, watch and listen to people in the grocery lines as they complain about high prices. The whining customer says, “I remember when this hamburger was half this price!” The friendly checker nods replying, “Yeah, all of us are suffering from inflation; we need to stop taxing people.” Look closer. How can you tell both are probably Trumpers? The whining customer really is saying that prices would be lower under Trump. Ha! The checker is not politically savvy, but he “heard” that Trump will lower taxes and stop inflation. The tone of voice is conspiratorial like they know the truth. Not too loud, they share nods and winks.

The second place to observe and listen is at any church social or on the parking lots as people chit chat before or after the service. Men tend to talk politics more openly as they walk to cars while finishing their cigarettes. Here’s a real sample of small talk versus body language and tone of voice. You’ll probably recognize the hypocrisy of two Christians who just worshipped together.

With a puff of smoke and a harumph, the older man says, “Well, I know Pastor talks about Jesus saying love your neighbor, but he didn’t live next to perverts or trans people. I wonder if he’d change the commandments today?” He chuckled and raised his eyebrow for a response.

The younger man smoked a bit longer and said, “What about all of these dirty immigrants coming across the border? That’s worse than living near weird people who don’t live like normal people do, isn’t it?” The latter spit for emphasis, and the older man replied, “Maybe so.”

In that happy note of agreeing that weird people and dirty immigrants are ruining good Christian towns in America, they departed home feeling validated that someone agreed with them. They probably went home to watch Fox Entertainment to confirm their anxiety.

The bystander had much to think about on his way home to his immigrant wife. Note that no political party or candidate was mentioned above, but all involved knew the score because of body language and tone of voice. Be alert!