Old-Age Crisis?
Just when I thought life was good, no mid-life crisis, no menopause issues, and no children in the house. . . I woke up and looked in the mirror to a stranger’s face. Egads, I am old and wrinkled!
I’ve never had time to be vain in my traveling days or my teaching days. I coasted on youth and vitality because I have allergies to makeup. Now, I still have some vitality and mobility, but makeup allergies still rule. I buy products, then give them away to girls in the family or toss them.
I had contact surgery earlier this year, and I didn’t realize how old I looked because of faulty vision. It was jaw dropping though my sweet husband says I’m beautiful. He’s probably used to me. Or he needs a new glass prescription!
Marriage can be a blessing and a curse for independent people, for vain people, for people who married without thinking of growing old together. I can say without a doubt I love my husband more now than I did when we were younger. He’s been compassionate and loving for 45+ years. There have been days we butted heads over how to plant a tree, clean the house, keep the family solvent—but divorce was never an issue. The main problem is that we are too much alike, but our differences make it a marriage for growing old and supporting one another regardless of the bad days.
I think a “growing old life crisis” may be a blessing in disguise. Attending funerals of friends our age is a leveler. I’ve been to many. We know our days won’t last forever, and that makes each day sweeter. The saddest funeral I attended was a man in his 60’s, and the only people present were his choir friends and the pastor. He had no one, but he lived a wonderful life all alone until his illness came. It was tragic.
My advice to people under 40 waiting for the perfect mate to marry is to find someone with your values and your good interest in mind—more than theirs. Then go and travel or spend time together whenever possible. Know your mate inside out. Selflessness by both partners will mold the marriage into a powerhouse of unity and true love.
Seriously, dear friends, don’t be afraid of growing old with someone you love as much as you love yourself. Enjoy life!
Diane’s Substack is free, and I’m usually posting pro-Democracy articles. However, I take breaks and write about what is going on in my brain some days.
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Everything has gone south. I am seeing the eye doctor a week from Monday, I know he is going to recommend cataract surgery, I don't want to see how bad I really look!
I got way to complacent in my living alone and now it much harder than I thought it would be, to be alone.
I’m helping a friend look for a memory care facility for her husband. It has knocked me into my present, needing, a plan, as my daughter says. I’m glad you have a companion.